A Prelude

Having been undergoing this even semester for almost 8 weeks, I think this semester will be the first crazy semester of all the coming. I really hope for the miracle coming up. Tons of book are waiting to be finished and all of them are the full of theory, no picture, and rich of jargon, that make me have to marry dictionaries as well as thesaurus in a very soon, ones.

But, I somehow have such an unsaid enthusiasm indeed. No idea what it is actually. I started this semester with a sense of insecure. I was so afraid of I didn’t know what when I was about to leave home. I felt so uncertain, unclear. Everything was blurring in my eyes. Hopefully, it is just something like nausea due to the long holiday just passed by and won’t be followed by any kind of horrors. Aamiin.

Anyway, I had a weird dream that cannot be removed from my head for weeks. I was so tired that I was so sleepy after Maghreb. Then I decided to watch a movie to keep myself staying awake until Isya’. The movie was Rio, the one of which story is about the unable-to-fly Blue Macau. For the further explanation about the movie, go search for it. No matter how hard I try to fight over the sleepy, I fell asleep anyhow. I dreamed that I was the one like Blu, the main character. I was in a place I didn’t know where it was, sort of in the middle of nowhere. Everybody was flying away and left me alone unable to go anywhere with the cruel cockatoo chasing over me. I was so scared. When I woke up, I felt so tired and scared. Yes, it is ridiculous, but it is true! I don’t know whether it is the matter of the unable-to-fly Blue Macau or it is a warning from my deep down inside feeling that something goes wrong inside of me.

Anyway, I don't take that weird dream into account anymore. But, I still unable to get rid of it.

There is one thing that makes me feel like there is something in my shoes. That is about how comfortable I am being alone. Sometimes I feel that I am too individualistic. I always prefer to do everything myself. Often, I am more, so much more, comfortable when I am sole. Whether it is going somewhere alone or simply does my stuffs in my room alone. I know it may be unhealthy somehow. But, I am simply trying to avoid any kind of quarrel due to my habit that often different from most of my friends. Take an example, I prefer to have lunch myself instead of with my classmate. It is because I prefer to have no any kind of meat on my plate while most my friend prefer to have steak, soto, fried or baked chicken, and so on on their plate. For I am the minor one, I try to satisfy myself. Another thing is most of my friends love to hanging around after class while I cannot enjoy it. In short, I have different way of having fun to my friend’s. Thus, I choose to go home instead of join my friend going to a mall or coffee shop. There are still so many things that make me prefer to be alone, to be solely.

In short, I am simply trying to avoid screwing people’s life due to my different taste of having fun to them. Hence I prefer to have people left me alone.

Well, gotta go the dentist now, see you around then. Ciao!